Thursday, October 6, 2011

Trying to turn my life around

Well, I have decided to try to make a point to update my Blog daily, I also am going to make a huge turn around on my eating and exercising habits to try to improve the symptoms of my PCOS. I want to beat this, and I want to finally be a mother.

Today I'm feeling pretty good, a lot better from yesterday. I'm still depressed but I do have some sort of excitement now that I have my appointment with an actual RE. I just hope that I'm finally moving forward. There for awhile I felt like we were making progress but now I just feel stuck so I really am hoping that this is what I needed.

As far as my current cycle of Clomid, I am on cycle day 9 today (I did 200MG Clomid CD3-7) and I'm already getting anxious to POAS and praying to see that positive OPK! I still have my doubts, it's hard to get excited just because I know that the last two cycles of Clomid didn't work, and I almost feel like "Come on, get the disappointment over with" But I will keep peeing and keep hoping. That would be great if this cycle was successful. As far as any symptoms from the Clomid, I don't have any complaints. I've never had any side effects from Clomid and so far this cycle it's the same. The first two cycles I took a Tylenol with each dose like instructed from members on a board, but this cycle I didn't bother and still didn't have any side effects, so that was good!


What a stab to the heart. I called my insurance company to see what all for infertility was covered. Well, turns out pretty much nothing. The only thing covered is appointments and medications. IUI's and IVF's are not covered, and if I end up paying for either out of pocket, no other appointments or medications will be covered from there on out. This seems so unfair. I can't stop crying. Although it hasn't even been decided yet if I will EVER need either of those, all I can think of is the worst. All I can imagine is that I will end up needing on e or the other to EVER be a parent and I won't be able to afford it. There is no way I could afford a IVF, they can cost around $17,000! I could never come up with that money. So I'm trying to face the fact that it's very possible that I may never be able to have a child. I don't think adoption is even an option, that is so costly also. This is so unfair and I just don't know how much more I can handle. I just hope and pray that they are able to get me to ovulate and that I don't have to worry about any of it, but I can't help but have it in the back of my mind... it seems like I have the worst luck.

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