Wednesday, January 28, 2015
The woman that broke my heart forever...
I suppose today I will write about our failed adoption. Last June my husband and I saw a post on Facebook one night, about a girl pregnant with twins and going to put them up for adoption. We knew for some time we wanted more kids and this almost felt like a calling to us. I sent her a message and asked if she had found a family, which she said no to. I told her my husband and I would love to adopt them, so on and so forth. She wanted to meet with us so we met her at a park where our kids could play and we could talk. Long story as short as possible, she liked us and wanted to let us adopt the twins. I was thrilled. From that day on (about 8 weeks or so of her pregnancy) I took her to every single appointment, saw every ultrasound, cried in happiness for the babies I thought were mine. I loved them so much. When we found out they were girls we were thrilled and excited beyond words. We bought them so much stuff, picked out names, and were waiting for them to be born any day. We had our lawyer waiting for the call that they were born, and our pre placement home study was complete. We were literally 100% ready and waiting for them. 10 days before they were born I messaged the birth mother and asked her how she was, I knew she was sick and wanted to see how she was feeling. She said "we need to get together this weekend and talk" it was instant worry, what could be wrong? I told her we could talk now and she replied by text and said that she decided to place the babies with another family and we were no longer getting them. Instant shock, heartbreak, panic, tears flooding my eyes. What happened? What did we do wrong? Why would she just so randomly no longer want us to have what I felt were already MY babies. I still can't talk about this without wanting to bawl and really all the exact details aren't important... she tore our family apart. Broke my FREAKING heart. I still don't understand, and she has a million excuses, but when it comes down to it they are all either lies about me, or just plain don't make sense. I feel taken advantage of and hurt. The day I saw their picture of Facebook killed me. There they were, the girls I dreamed about, longed for, and loved. Those were supposed me by MY babies. It sucks. Bad. There is no other way to put it. We thought about trying to adopt again but honestly my heart has no interest. The heartbreak caused to me by some random women with all the power was too much for me. I am a changed person and this will forever be a scare on my heart. I hope those girls have a happy life, and are loved as much as I would have loved them. I don't know their names, and I don't know the woman they will call mom, but know I loved them and they will always have a little piece of my heart.
Posted by Krissy Roling at 10:52 AM