I am telling you, the stress is getting to me. We've been having neighbor drama, I've been thinking about the twins a lot lately for some reason, and then I see my RE next week and I am hitting panic mode! God damn why does getting pregnant have to be so much work for us. Why can't we be one of those careless couples who have drunk sex and "Whoops! We're pregnant!" and get to celebrate and be happy and never have a single strand of stress in the entire process of getting pregnant. Now there is me. Having sex for (LITERALLY) years unprotected and not a DAMN thing. Notta. It's so unfair it's almost unreal. I mean, what kind of SICK joke is this. And don't get me going about all the women who reproduce, and to put it nicely, don't deserve it. I mean damn, this is cruel and unusual isn't it? Or is it just me? So, we see our RE in 5 days and I am SO terrified they are just going to tell me to lose weight and not help. I suppose only time will tell. I DO need to lose weight and am working hard on making an effort at taking better care of myself...

I really just needed somewhere to vent. I am sure there will be much more of that to come ;)